I've hinted at it yesterday: Other health issues. During the last two or so years, I've had some troubles that all seemed more or less unrelated, and that were all sort of not so bad that they'd merit a visit at some doctor's, and too squishy to really pinpoint them. However, they were gradually getting worse.

It started when we were doing a bit of strength training during the second lockdown, as the pandemic was still causing things to be cancelled - which resulted, for me, not in a strength gain, but in joint problems instead. Those got better with less training, but there was still a rather persistent niggle, and it was very easy for me to overload or overstress them. (Also made my motivation for strength training take a very, very steep nosedive.)

There was also the weight gain, not really quick but still a good bit more noticeable than in the years before. My hair stopped growing, there was more hair loss, and the braid became shorter and shorter as well. I had dry eyes, and a dry mouth.

And then... more joint pains, and muscle pains. Tender knees, tender hips, tender fingers. I got the impression that in spite of bouldering regularly, I lost strength instead of gaining it (or even just maintaining), and when trying to do a bit more, it quickly resulted in... more pain, due to overstressing something. Plus I got more and more depressed, and things just looked ever bleaker. This all got worse over time, and I was really at a loss as to what was going on.

Until I finally, in a stroke of sheer and pure luck, I listened to a podcast about menopause.

The symptoms list? Oh, how familiar it sounded. All of it. Well, almost all of it - I'd never had the infamous hot flushes, which might have been a hint towards what was happening. The way it was, though, I never had considered menopause as a possible reason (and it's usually not expected to start in the early fourties with such an impact).

Long story short, having ticked off most of that symptoms list, I found myself a doctor specialising in hormonal treatments, got an appointment, left some blood there, and a few days later I got the results: Early menopause, with really low levels in both estrogen and progesterone. (Well. You can insert a bad joke about being early for a change here, if you like - I've missed enough deadlines in my life, or cut it very close, that I really don't mind.)

Based on that bloodwork, I'm now getting hormone replacement therapy, and things are so, so much better. There's still some issues, but we're also not yet finished with the stage of figuring out what the proper levels for me are. The most important thing, though, is that I'm feeling like myself again, and am functional once more. Now I just have to remember to take one of the magic capsules in the morning and in the evening to keep things peachy. (There's actually a reminder app running on my phone now, just for that. Works wonders.)

The betterment, by the way, was almost instant. There was a real, significant difference just a few days after starting therapy, on all levels. I'm still not where I used to be, but gradually, things are getting better again, and I feel like I'm making progress once more instead of just stalling or things getting worse.

So... what I learned, when reading up on the stuff: Menopause has a large impact on a woman's body, as there are estrogen and progesterone receptors about everywhere. EVERYWHERE. (Like in your brain.) Not getting enough of the stuff has an impact on overall health and well-being, including bone health and density, muscle strength (there's the explanation for my loss of bouldering strength) and cardiovascular health. There's a reason why women after a certain age have the same risk as men to get a stroke or a heart attack, and that's lower estrogen levels. Same reason for the brittle bones at a higher age.

Also - depressive mood swings, or full-out depression can be a result of too low levels of hormones. When dropping a pencil suddenly means that you feel like the day is ruined, because obviously you cannot do ANYTHING right... well. Not a very good situation.

Now mind you - every body is different, and there's some people that breeze through menopause and don't feel anything, but just in case you'll land in the other camp... if you're over 35, consider reading up a bit on menopause and peri-menopause (that's before the proper start of things stopping, so to say) just so you know what possible symptoms are. Maybe get your hormone levels checked on a day when you're feeling really good, at a known point within your cycle, so you have a baseline you can work from.

And once stuff starts happening... do consider a replacement therapy. These days, bioidentical hormones are available, which are what your own body would produce, and the side effects of those are very low. That includes the risk of cancer, which can be linked to non-bioidentical hormones that were used in some of the studies that caused a big scare about HRT some years ago. And in the sense of full disclosure: I was feeling so bad before the therapy started that I'd have gladly accepted a 10% increase of the risk for cancer, in exchange for feeling better again.

Now you're all up to date, and this blog will return to its usual shenanigans. Unless you have questions - then let me know, and I'll try to answer them!

This blog has seen one or the other post about personal stuff over the years... and it's time for another one. Actually, for two, but as they are relatively unrelated topics, I'll make two posts out of it.

Back in 2016, I went on a weight-loss journey that took most of the year, and I've been normal weight ever since I hit that goal weight in September. It did not stay at the goal weight very long - I went slightly above it pretty soon, as in one or two kilos, but that was okay with me. It was still a reasonable weight for me, and I did keep to this okay range for a year or two. Or, actually, even almost three.

However... since then I have gradually, slowly, sneakily gotten back into the habit of eating just a tiny little bit more than I need. Which means, Thank You Captain Obvious, that I've gradually, slowly, sneakily put on a bit more weight again than I'd like to have. Reasons for that (not the putting on, but the eating a tad more) are unclear, but they might include other health issues, a bit of emotional eating or boredom eating, old bad habits coming through again, a genetic predisposal to an appetite that is a bit too large, having the occasional bout of not sleeping enough, and there might be more, but I think that's already quite enough to have on the list, so I'll just stop here.

Now, back in 2016 when I was hardcore dieting, I logged everything I ate and drank to keep track of my calorie input, and very obviously, that worked as a strategy for me. It's a bit of a numbers game to play - how much have I had today already? Was it enough protein? (From experience, I know that I need a certain amount to feel okay, and not perpetually hungry.) Do I really want to eat that bit of chocolate or had I rather be finished earlier with the dieting? How much do I actually need to feel okay, and how much do I actually need for maintenance? It's amazing, and can be a real eye-opener, to weigh out portions and see how much or how little the same amount of calories can be. 

After months of logging all the food, it did get a bit old though. I wanted very much to be able to eat without logging everything as a crutch, and in the start, that worked fairly well. Over time, though, it looks like I'm prone to having just a little bit more than necessary. That's not bad if it happens once in a while and gets evened out by eating less on some other day, and lucky the person who does that naturally, but unfortunately that's not me. I just eat a little more occasionally, and never too little to even it out.

I've tried several times to lose some weight again freestyle, without logging, but it seems like I'm still not good enough at estimating caloric values, and at eating less without having numbers to cling to. So the smart thing would probably have been to do a week or two of tracking now and then, just to make sure my internal calibration, so to say, gets re-adjusted.

Well. I didn't, because I wanted so, so much to be able to wing it... and now I've gotten precariously close to overweight again, and while my clothes all still fit, they fit tighter now. So I've gone back to doing what works for me: Logging everything, and trying to go for a significant deficit each day. (Because I am also, still, an impatient person.)

And, surprise surprise, it's not as bad as I feared. Yes, it is a little more work when cooking, and preparing food. Yes, it also means taking care of what gets eaten (There's the protein quota to be met, which of course has an impact on the kinds of food that are smart to eat, and those that are a less smart choice). However... weighing and logging everything before I eat it also means that it's not as easy to just have a piece of chocolate, or a cookie, or another coffee (with milk, otherwise it wouldn't really count)... and because I'm a lazy person, that already helps with having less of the "boredom food" than I'd usually have. Snack fruit in the afternoon. The bit of chocolate in the break. Taking another small serving, just because it tastes so good. (I blame you, good-quality-food that does not even need a lot of cooking skills to taste delicious.) Having a last spoonful of whatever before putting leftovers into the fridge. All those little things... adding up.

We'll see how it goes now, playing this numbers game this time around. I will be trying to figure out my current daily energy needs while I'm at it (there's a brilliant spreadsheet hanging out on reddit for this), hoping that fluctuating water levels will not muck up things too much. And then, for the future, I hope I'll be smart enough to do a week of logging for re-calibration sooner and not later, so there's less to lose should the numbers go creeping up again.

I know that weight and weight loss can be a sensitive topic for a lot of people, and it used to be for me as well - until I got all my dieting myths and preconceptions blasted by the book "Fettlogik überwinden", which in the meantime has also come out in English, as "Conquering Fat Logic". So...if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

I'm back from the winter break - and ready for the next year to start off properly, and for new adventures. There's a stack of things already in planning, and to my great delight, I have managed to catch up on a few things in the meantime.

One reason why my breaks (both in winter and in summer) may seem rather long is that I'm not relaxing and taking time off all the time - there's also a good amount of behind-the-scenes things going on during these weeks. For the end of the old year and start of the new, these include a lot of paperwork. New numbers for the invoices, book-keeping for the end of the year, doing the tax paperwork. That, for me, always means quite a bit of checking, as VAT has to be paid for the last quarter, then I double-check if I have caught everything during the year (sometimes a receipt slips past and turns up after its accountancy period), then the car costs have to be figured in. Why the car costs? Well, it's the company's car, and due to German legislation that means if I use it for private purposes, it counts as income and I have to pay VAT on that. So that's another thing to book...

The good thing is: Once that's all finished, there is not a lot more left to do for filing the "proper" taxes, as in the income taxes, which have to be paid on top of the VAT. And this year I've managed to finish all the paperwork and tax prep work in the winter break, which is a very nice thing. It always gives me a good feeling to have sent off the last quarter's VAT, and have all the books in order.

The next step was taking stock of things in stock, and replenishing where necessary. That's mostly done, too, with a few items still on the waitlist because the suppliers are busy, or there's issues with raw materials, or other reasons out of my own control. But having sorted that means I can now take care of orders that came in during the break.

And then... planning. Plans for this year include a reprint of my Gold Embroidery book (that sold out during the last year), there's two articles about tablet weaving coming up in two different places, and I might be travelling to Lübeck again in spring for some more collaboration with the ever-lovely Hansemuseum.

The next European Textile Forum will be in Mayen once again, with a focus on dyeing - the date is not fixed yet, but hopefully will be rather soon. 

What has a fixed date, though, are the next in-person workshops I will be giving. 

First up, from February 3 to February 5: A selection of workshops at the "Historischer Nähtreff" at Burg Rothenfels, near Würzburg. I'll be offering a number of workshops: Hand sewing (medieval seams and stitches), historical spinning, sprang (which is braiding in a frame) and fingerloop braiding as well as weaving on a bow loom. If you're interested, here's more information, including how to register:

The second one is a big tablet-weaving workshop taking place in Tüchersfeld, in the stunningly beautiful Franconian Switzerland. That is going to take a full weekend, enabling us to cover tablet-weaving from the basics up to weaving patterns based on diagonals, freestyle, no pattern draft required. The course will be in German, and if you're interested and free on March 3-5, book your spot here.

Apart from that, I have some tasks left on my list from last year - such as finishing off the website migration, and some writing tasks are to be done as well. Which means the new year has started off nicely, and promises to not be boring at all! 

The obligatory yummy things have all been baked, there's been tea and spiced hot apple juice and Currywurst with fries at the "Historic Christmas Market"; the last invoices for the year have been written and the last packages are getting sent out.

A few last bits and bobs are to do, and then it's time for the winter break here - some relaxing, some seeing friends and family, and some clandestine behind-the-scenes work before the next year starts, and new adventures beckon. It's nice to slow down when everything else outside is slowing down too, all asleep beneath a layer of snow, quietly waiting for the sun to come back in its glory, and for the warmth to return.

And of course, there's the obligatory seasonal picture of the cat with a hat:

I hope you have a nice end of the year, whether you celebrate something or not - with a bit of time to wind down and enjoy a slower pace, and with a bit of time to do things you enjoy and have people around you that you love. 

The blog and shop will be on winter break until January 16 - when I'll be back with more cat pictures, more ramblings, and of course my eternal lists of things to do that are way too long for the time there is...

The tablet weaving workshop is in March in the Fränkische Schweiz-Museum Tüchersfeld, on Friday 3 to Sunday 5. We'll cover tablet weaving from the basics to free pattern weaving with diagonals - and in some cases, participants in this course even proceeded on to the basics of 3:1 broken twill weaving, also without a pattern.  

The workshop can be booked via the museum website; the price includes materials and lunch on Saturday and Sunday.

If you're looking at medieval embroideries, you will, sooner or later, stumble across one that has been embellished with pearls. Seed pearls. As in tiny, miniscule specimens of pearls, smaller than anything you will easily get today. (Or get at all, in some cases.)

A while ago, I was looking for a source for pearls to do embroidery medieval style, but to no avail. The company that I found which in theory offered small pearls (with a diameter of 1 to 1.5 mm, as that's the size we're talking about) told me, on my inquiry, that they don't have pearls that small at all, and if they had, nobody would be able to drill a hole into them.

That was done, however. I'm wondering, together with a lot of other people, how medieval and early modern and modern people managed to drill holes into pearls so small that it seems you can hardly see them. With techniques possible in the Middle Ages...

To give you an idea of the tinyness of these things, compare the size of these seed pearls to the size of the modern glass-headed pin:

They are utterly, utterly tiny, and if anyone has an idea of how the holes might have gotten into these pearls, or how they may have been strung up, or sewn to a textile (these haven't, of course, but others did) they would be more than welcome! 

The year is winding down, and while there's a list of things still to do before 2022 ends, there's only one larger and hard-deadlined item left on the list, with a "finish before winter break" tag on it. That is a really, really nice thing... and I very much enjoy the feeling of winding down and slowing down a bit too.

The one item? I have (not too foolishly, I hope) agreed to write a little article about tablet weaving. It's actually two, but one is finished, and there's only one left to do... so I've made some photos, and something vaguely resembling a plan, and there's an outline, and hopefully there's an article soon.

The really fascinating thing about this is that every time I look at the topic, there's another little aspect that I can see. Especially when I try to explain something, or describe something. This sharpens the eye in a way that nothing else does. There's a German idiom that more or less says "you learn when you teach", and that is really true. (Well, provided that when you teach, you try to explain things so that the audience understands them, and not just teach the motions and rules to be learned by heart and followed... because then, you will learn nothing.)

For the tablet weavers among you: The two middle images show the same setup and were woven the same way - only on top, the tablets are threaded alternatingly s and z, and on the bottom, all are threaded the same way. Like all of you, I know that the s and z are important and will change how the black and white line up. But I still find it amazing how much the alternate threading changes the line-up and the optical impression of the band.